DISCLAIMER: NOT HUMAN
Achi_va: *Doing something resembling the Azonto* All my ladies shake up ya bumbum, bumbum, bumbum, me I like Idi nla nla…..anyhow you give it to me ehn…..
TEOP: *lands Achi_va a heavy slap*
Achi_va: *wakes up with rage enough to murder Clark Kent* Are you mad? What is freaking wrong with you? Person no fit dream again? And the dream was good oh, chai I dey club dey Rock Nicki_minaj and Kim KArdah…….at the same time, TEOP O fe pami, kilode?
TEOP: hey, please be calm, you overgrown midget. I was just wondering how a graduate of Petroleum Engineering could graduate without ever using the letter ‘S’in her course of study. How can she call herself a graduate? She calls breast – brezz and success – zucezz, I mean what kind of graduates are…
Achi_va: *Lands TEOP his own bumbum inspired slap* How is that my business biko?
TEOP: *Visibly angry but decides to be calm* you fool, remember the boss gave us a job to do, remember our first convo? Yes we are supposed to introduce another today?
Achi_va: oh crap, I don forget sha.
TEOP: How do you expect to remember? When all you do is tweet your life away, in fact twitter should employ you and pay you peanuts.
Achi_va: *sighs*ODE, always writing those your stupid poems, writing sadistic bull-crap, if I knock your head ehn, you go see stars, you will see Obama and call him uncoo Jona.
*suddenly Two ‘YOUNG ADULTS’ apparently fall from the sky, true story*
Janus_Aneni: Fool, the wonders of Ogbolo cannot be over emphasized. Amean I’m very sure Adam ate MoinMoin before the copulated with Eve to give birth to that abomination called Cain, but he realized his mistake and had Ogbolo the second time, see what came out? Abel…..Ogbolo went in……Abel came out.
OluwaWanaBaba: yaff mad finish, wetin be Ogbolo sef? MoinMoin is the greatest food ever invented by man, you know that Einstein dude? Yes he fasted with moinmoin for 7 days and 7 nights before he invented the atomic bomb, amean don’t you get it? Moin Moin was directly responsible for the….
*Aneni gives Wana an unexpected uppercut and a scuffle ensues*
Achi_va: erh….who are these ones? Ta la won?
TEOP: It pains me deeply to see ‘Elderly citizens’ fighting over such trivial matters *makes an attempt to break up the fight but is stopped by Achi_va*
Achi_va: Ode leave them, at least I’ll have something to tweet about and besides we have work to do.
TEOP: I guess. By the way where is our third wheel?
Achi_va: oh you mean Skibs?
*meanwhile somewhere around the corner*
DJNIRO_: Everybody should know all about Postinor, you tell me you’ve never heard about Postinor?
SKIBS: No sir, I’ve never heard about postinor. Can we talk about beans? I’m starving.
DJNIRO_: beans?? We’re talking about a very important issue here, and all you can think about is beans? Have you even heard about the friendzone?
SKIBS: erh…..*scratches head*
DJNIRO_: *sighs* His case is more critical than we expected.
TEOP: *sighs* another weirdo, who is this one again?
Achi_va: OMG you mean you don’t know naija twitter’s leading expert in the friendzone analysis? He’s so awesome they begged him to become Postinor’s brand ambassador.
TEOP: *Straightest face ever* oh you don’t say. *bumps into Mr FrankUgo_*
FrankUgo_: Oh I’m really sorry.
TEOP: *sigh*what is your problem?
FrankUgo_: I’m really sorry, If it helps I can give you a sample of this Yoruba praise and worship song I’m listening to at the moment.
TEOP: *Ignores Frank* So Achi_va what were we saying again?
*Frank leaves, and no he’s not smiling*
Achi_va: *laughs hysterically*
TEOP: why the laughter?
Achi_va: I just saw an arsenal fan with ‘Arsenal’ boldly tattooed on his forehead, unbelievable!
TEOP: oh my, what the actual fcuk?
Vescucci: *Screaming* ‘Arsenal is the greatest’ *a large sledgehammer lands on his head*
TEOP: Enough weirdoes for one day, sheel, lemme pick something from my closet *opens closet* OMG *jerks backward* WTF!!!!
Achi_va: Kilotunde o?
no_Deemples: Oh I’m sorry, it’s just that I needed to write and erh….I always write in my closet, but it’s bad and under repair, I needed to borrow yours. I’m really sorry *runs off*
TEOP: *sighs**looks into closet*
Weird_oo: *screams* BOOM!!!
Achi_va: *breaks into a feat of extreme laughter* *motions towards Weird_oo* Chop knuckle jare that was epic.
SKIBS: please where’s TEOP? I’m hungry?
Achi_va: DPMO mehn, lemme do my job.
Achi_va: We are going to be doing a series on this blog for the next week or so. You know fairy tales right, like uhm Snow-White, sleeping beauty, Rapunzel and the rest? Well we have decided to do our own mock/true versions. It’s simple really, they covered up the real events and we as fighters for what is just and true (not the Crime fighters) have decided to expose them. I’m serious though, we are all for truth and what not on this blog. The posts will be coming once every day for the next week. To get these posts ‘as e dey hot’ you can subscribe to redor, I’m pretty sure you’ll find the Follow button somewhere on this blog, I don’t quite remember where I put it, or like us on facebook, that’s also somewhere on this page *sighs*, or you can just as easily follow me on twitter at @Achi_va for updates *celebrity pose*. And oh yes before I forget, the title of this series is gonna be – FERRYTALES. You get it right? Ferry….tale? We gonna be taking you on a cruise yo, it aint like nothing you ever seen.
We also decided to do a series promotional poster, not that I had to anyway. After a series of very un carefully planned plans, this is the laziest version we could come up with.
After some more deliberation, We decided to go a tad further you know, give the poster some more flesh.
You can help spread the word by using either of the posters at absolutely anywhere you please, maybe on your laptop, phone, YOUR AVATAR ON TWITTER, right cheek, left bum, anywhere would be fine really, you would saving souls and in turn preventing the world from coming to an abrupt end come December 31st.
The first post comes up tomorrow around noon, make sure you have internet connection,
if you can’t buy, steal.
Thanks for stopping by, y’all are awesome.
The characters Achi_va, SKIBS, and TEOP do in fact refer to the one person(MPD things), the other characters are well, gonna be guest writing on FerryTale so try not to miss out. We will also be disturbing your timelines everyday till the series is over, so please make una no vess, it’s only gonna be for one week.
Lerra *Funke Akindele Stare*