Calm, TOTALLY INSANE, but calm still.


So I just finished writing exams, can I hear a hallelujah somebody? I honestly do not know how I made it through these past few weeks. I learnt a lot about myself though, and I mean a lot, okay maybe not a lot but here are just a few random nuggets of nothingness I thought to share with you.

1.)    I met this girl some weeks before exams, so one night in particular I saw her twice but couldn’t remember her name, so I didn’t say hi. The thing pain me gan. I tried to remember but I couldn’t, I still can’t remember her name.

2.)    When writing exams, the ‘I CANNOT KILL MYSELF ’ mentality will get you an F and F isn’t just a letter.

3.)    MTN is everywhere you go except where you are.

4.)    Talking strictly talents alone, I think Rihanna has more of it than Beyonce.

5.)    Sleep is not for the weak, it is for the strong. Those strong enough to deal with the F in Failure.

6.)    Drinking concentrated Coffee for two weeks at a go will mess you up.

7.)    Akon is really Caucasian.

And lastly, the picture below so accurately describes my life in the past two weeks that I began to shed tears when I saw it.

My life.

My life.

I got a notification a few weeks ago that I got a liebster. I had actually gotten one sometime last year but didn’t understand what it was all about and besides when I found out it doesn’t even involve money, I was like….

Kill me now. Please?

Kill me now. Please?

I am not really and award person, if there’s any demographic like that. I really didn’t start blogging because I wanted attention or awards, but now that I think about it, a little recognition or acknowledgement once in a while can’t hurt me. Moreover I suck at acknowledging compliments and much less awards (even when money is not involved). I got four more Liebsters and common sense dictates I pass the baton. Before I proceed….

‘A Liebster is an award given to up and coming bloggers with under 200 followers. The Liebster Award originated in German.  Liebster translates dearest or beloved, and Liebe is love.’

I GOT FIVE LIEBSTERS BAYBEEEE!!!!!  *Summersaults* *Does the Harlem shake*

Oh My Gwosh!!!!  I litrally kent brit mehn!!!!! Aswear am on cloud narynine (99)….this is 22musshhh………Gaddemeet!!!!!


I want to thank Dell, the makers of my laptop, my dad for buying me my first book, my brothers for offering to read my crap when no one else would, the companies responsible for the manufacture of Bic, Reynolds and eleganza pens, all the makers of exercise books in Nigeria, my Pastor, my primary school English teacher, that magazine that sent me a pen and a note saying to keep writing when I was younger, my mom, wordpress(dot)com staff, Mike Zuckerberg, Ellen Degeneres, Google, Conan the barbarian, the Powerpuff girls, twitter, my fans, in fact alliyhu….the list goes on and on really, for the sake your sanity(not mine) let me just stop here.

Here are the RULES for acknowledging this award…..

1. Thank the person who nominated you
2. List 11 random facts about yourself
3. Answer the questions they have asked you
4. Nominate 11 other people
5. Ask the nominees 11 questions
6. Last and definitely least, let them know you have nominated them.

I’m eternally grateful to maestros @ovunderkind, @volturi_lord, @dami_maverick and my bunny’s Kemi and @IamMshoudini for deeming my rusty old blog worthy of such a nomination. You guys make me want to keep churning out whatever you read that made you think redor worthy of such awesomeness. Thank you all so so very much. I also want to thank my co-bloggers @jus_kenny, @no_Deemples, @uglie_girlee and chukky for their amazing input into redor, God bless all of you. I am greatly in your debts.

11 random facts about myself

–          I love Kim Kardashian.

–          I love beans, only when it is laced with weed.

–          I think Japanese anime is light-years ahead of normal cartoons (they are not the same thing).

–          I hate Petty people.

–          I am not human.

–          I have real conversations with myself.

–          I’m awfully shy.

–          Writing for me is a way of escaping the voices in my head.

–          I have a default mode where I do things without realizing I’ve done them. It gets really bad sometimes.

–          I get paranoid sometimes.

–          I love Kim Kardashian.

@Volturi_Lord’s questions

  • If you could only rescue one parent from a burning house which would you save, and why?
  • Ans – I’d let both of them out and die instead. I love them both too much.
  • How do spend your free time?
  • Ans- Staring into space and doing nothing in particular.
  • What is your greatest achievement so far?
  • Ans – Staying in school.
  • If you were appointed President of your country, what would be your first act?
  • Ans – Declare martial law.
  • If you have to choose between dying by poisoning or suffocation, which will you prefer?
  • Ans – Poisoning sounds like less fun.
  • If you had just a wish, answer guaranteed what would you wish for?
  • Ans – Like a gazillion other wishes.
  • Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings (state reasons please)
  • Ans – Lord of the rings, I’m kinda into monsters and mythical creatures and besides I’m not really a fan of preschoolers waving magic sticks around (see what I did there?).
  • What are the best five words that would describe you?
  • Ans – Clueless, lost, Confused, intelligent, Afraid.
  • Which of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S character would date if you have the opportunity?
  • Ans – Can’t really remember the characters, the one who had a constant boyfriend in the house I guess.
  • How did you get interested in writing?
  • Ans – I am/was lost, I would’ve have gone insane if I didn’t find me some pen and paper.
  • If you could start all over in life, would you change anything?
  • Ans – I’ll most probably not want to come back being Nigerian is all.


@IamMsHoudini’s questions

  What is your favourite TV show?

Ans – I have none.

  What inspires your writing?

Ans – Pain, confusion, a need to exhale, the list goes on.

  Who is your favourite author?

Ans – I have none.

  If you had the chance to date any celebrity at all, who would you date?

Ans – Do I like really need to answer this question? It would be Kim K, my lovely and overly talented Kimmy K.

  What is your favourite meal? (No forming).

Ans – rice.

  What is your favourite song?

Ans – For now it’ll have to be – Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.

  What other movie have you cried for apart from Titanic?

Ans: 7 pounds or The pursuit of happiness, not sure which.

  If you had one wish?

Ans – Like a gazillion other wishes.

  Are you a completely different person online?

Ans – what you see is what you get.

  If a fight suddenly breaks out in front of you, what would you do?

Ans – I’ll probably pretend I don’t notice and walk away calmly or just pretend to notice a stray squirrel and run off.

  How do you spend your free time?

Ans: Doing nothing in particular, staring into space.


@oVunderkind’s questions


  1. Would you consider yourself as secretly psychotic?

Ans – I am psychotic, both secretly and publicly.

  1. If empires are ruled by emperors and kingdoms are ruled by kings, do you think countries are ruled by cunts? Cite an example

Ans – This is pretty much the natural order of things e.g Nigeria.

  1. Are you comfortable with your current sex/gender? Why?

Ans- Hell yeah, the thought of going through child-birth scares the crap out of me.

  1. Have you ever smoked?

Ans – nope.

  1. Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity? Which celebrity was that?

Ans – They come and go, nothing special. Right now its Kim k .

  1. What is the most spectacular book you’ve ever read, and who was the author?

Ans – Half of a yellow sun by Chimamanda Adichie.

  1. Can you beat the sh#t out of kids you aren’t related to?

Ans – Nope, I am not a tout.

  1. What were you doing before reading this blog post?

Ans – I was probably in a class or something.

  1. What do you think of the concept/institution of marriage?

Ans – Waste of time.

  1. Do you believe in gender equality?

Ans – Undecided.

  1. Are you a narcissist? Give reasons for your answer.

Ans – People have accused me of being narcissistic, I guess to them I probably am.


Dami_maverick’s questions

1] ‘Checkered blue n white’ or ‘black’?

Ans – black.

2] Curtains or no curtains?

Ans – curtains.

3] Hardcover, paperback or ebooks?

Ans – Hardcover.

4] What’s your ambiance while writing?

Ans – Wait, let me google ‘ambiance’

5] Do you plan to publish a novel?

Ans – for now, nope. Who knows? I might just churn out a couple of bestsellers.

6] Do you like to make a gift for your loved one or do you rather buy?

Ans – I am not particular about these kinda things, as long as you thought me important enough to get a gift for? I’m good.

7] Which is the most beautiful color according to you?

Ans – Black (I know it’s not a colour)

8] What’s your mantra in life?

Ans – Changes anytime I see a better one. I can’t even remember the one I adopted a few weeks ago.

9] Have you ever thought of becoming a soldier in your life?

Ans – As a kid I had a lot of fantasies, being a soldier was definitely one of them.

10] Do you have stage fear?

Ans – Depends.

11] ‘Mickey mouse/ Aladdin/Tom and Jerry’ or ‘Naruto/Bleach/Mega XLR?

Ans – Tom and Jerry, Naruto.


Kemi’s Questions

1. Money, Power, Respect. Choose two.

Ans – Money, Power.

2. What is your idea of religion?

Ans – Religion to me is a way of life.

3. Have you ever considered politics?

Ans – Never.

4. What do you do for fun?

Ans – Watch Naruto.

5. What one word do you think describes me?

Ans – bobilabi.(we gave birth to boobs)

6. What one word describes you?

Ans – Lost.

7. What’s music to you?

Ans – Life.

8. Do you have a plan B in life? If yes what is it?

Ans – I don’t even have a plan A.

9. What book will you recommend for me to read?

Ans – The Holy Bible.

10. Why did you start blogging?

Ans: I honestly can’t remember.

11. Say something totally random!

Ans – Let’s get married and elope to Somalia together.


What I did to their questions.

What I did to their questions.

Now my nominees are –












My questions for the nominees –

–          What do you really think about global warming?

–          What inspires you?

–          Beans is the best food in the world right?

–          How do you really think man invented fire?

–          Do you believe in God?

–          Name one thing you cannot live without?

–          What do you really think about me?

–          How tall are you?

–          Who are you?

–          Why do you write?

–          Do you think DSTV rips us off in Nigeria?

That’s it folks. This was more hectic than I thought. A 30 day blog challenge is going down right here on redor starting next month, I’ll tell you all about it in my next post.

Thanks for reading my cool story. Bye.


6 responses

  1. *sigh

    about time, bruv. Cheers on the exam thingy. I’d say something funny here, buh I’ve been accused of being inappropriate. Whatever that means.

    You are liebed by us all. No homo. Definitely. I’m not waving no magic stick at you (yes, I saw what you did there)

    bobilabi? I’m gonna re-zoom some avis. I can’t believe I missed such great detail 😀

    *sigh. If u need me, I’ll be in the other room updating my liebster post, thanks to you 😐

    March 25, 2013 at 9:55 am

  2. 1. Well… The globe is getting warmer… -____-
    2. Pain, anger, pain… *shrugs*
    3. Roight… ¬_¬
    4. I’d rather not think about it.
    5. Yes, I do.
    6. Oxygen.
    7. I don’t really know you, but you seem cool. Certainly crazy, so more cool points for you. Awesome writer, so even more cool points. 🙂
    8. 5’4.5
    9. I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out.
    10. I have an over-active imagination, there are too many words floating around in my head, and I’m too shy to express myself any other way.
    11. Yes, they do! But wetin man go do na? We gats watch TV. *sigh*

    Thank you for the nomination. 🙂

    March 25, 2013 at 10:01 am

  3. Whoop!! Thanks a lot!

    Your Acceptance speech >>>>>>
    Had me laughing at work, I’ll probably get a query for that, now.


    March 25, 2013 at 1:22 pm

  4. Damilare

    stylishly typing this to avoid my boss’ glare… the dude mean gannn.*he is actually nice*..

    thanks bro for le nomination…

    1. Global Warming is a hoax (don’t quote me)
    2. Music, Nature
    *looks sideways and continues typing*
    3. Beans? yeah! in its various forms!! akara, moin moin, bread and beans, beans and rice, beans and plantain (!!!!!!!)
    4. Prometheus stole it from Zeus and gave man… at least that what Sam told Dean in episode i-forget of Supernatural
    5. Unequivocally
    6. God
    7. You have a very deep mind! Very envious of your ability to see vibrant colours in seemingly mundane motifs
    8. About the same height as Messi
    9. Messi *slash that* Damilare
    10. the voices in my head – they tell me to…
    11. See number 5

    March 25, 2013 at 3:35 pm

  5. Awesome intro mahn… what you did with the pictures and I’m particularly guity of the sleeping in class shii….

    Lemme finish reading all about Weed, Weed science and smoking quality of Tobacco aned I’ll hop right back and answer your questions.


    March 27, 2013 at 4:11 pm

  6. Finally…I return!

    – What do you really think about global warming?
    A: I think Karma is finally doing us one over for the Dinosaurs. (But we didn’t kill the dinosaurs…or did we? Wait. lemme consult…hang on)

    – What inspires you?
    Three things:
    1. Comedy
    2. Rap, and finally
    3. Every. single. Blog. I have ever commented on. (let’s all cry here)

    – Beans is the best food in the world right?
    Sigh. I would have loved to say yes, but my oga at the top (pounded yam and egusi) may say another thing…

    – How do you really think man invented fire?
    Forget all those talk about Prometheus and all that Greek mythology stuff about stealing fire from the gods. I think fire may have been discovered when one caveman was eating his meat (raw, of course), and another came in, all soothy, chewing on ‘roast venison’. The conversation, dug up from the trenches of Kenya (where civilization started, no? LOL) went thus:
    Caveman 1: Ooog?
    Caveman 2: Ooog og ooog.
    Caveman 1: oogog.
    Caveman 2: Oooogoog og moog!

    Translated by our modern day swagged out machinery? it goes:
    Caveman 1: Hey, patrick? WTF happened to you?
    Caveman 2: Beats me, Fred. I went hunting for those things with pointy spikes (deers to you modern peeps, f**k you) and suddenly there was this yellow, hot thing. I wanted to eat it, but…(shows black hands)
    Caveman 1: Lies! Do you think the illuminati may be responsible.
    Caveman 2: Dude. The illuminati isn’t supposed to be invented now, man.

    In essence, the first fire was probably a forest fire.

    – Do you believe in God?
    I do. I don’t want to be foolish. The bible calls atheists fools, shebi you know?

    – Name one thing you cannot live without?
    Oxygen. haha. No, seriously. I tried living without it one time. For a record total of 23 seconds. *wheezes* Never again.

    – What do you really think about me?
    I think I may be crushing on you a little (^_^)…amma wait until they legalize gays in Nigeria. Alternatively, we could go someplace more…’tolerant’, eh? Waddayasay, you hot Paet, you?? ROTFLMAO

    – How tall are you?
    As at last measurement? 6 ft 2. And I’m still growing. Ladies, please forward ur CVs through @TheBluePaet

    – Who are you?
    (blinks, squints) I’m the Vunderkind. I am a.g(r)eek, and also a Maestro. One time, I used to be called a Maverick. Thank God I lost that monicker before I met @Dami_Maverick. Would have been really awkward.
    And gay.
    Did I mention gay?

    – Why do you write?
    I write because I think people read what I write. Please, please, leave me in that delusion abeg! Don’t tell me otherwise!
    – Do you think DSTV rips us off in Nigeria?
    LOL! I don’t watch DSTv (straight face, eats grass and cracks coconut)

    Cheers, boss!

    April 8, 2013 at 1:56 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s